FEATURED IN L'OFFICIEL - HAIR STORY

I just wanna be myself / and I want you to know that I am my hair — lines I remember from a particular Lady Gaga song when I think about hair. And if we were to quote another pop culture icon, hair is everything (That’s Phoebe Waller-Bridge in Fleabag in case you didn’t know). We can all agree that it’s not just hair. It’s our crowning glory. Even hair care brands have changed messaging from “this is what your hair should look like” to “your hair, your say.”

A lot of people struggle with an identity crisis, anxiety and loss of confidence, or missed opportunities all because of a bad hair day. When put this way, hair is no longer an aesthetic problem, but a psychological and emotional one. For transwomen, hair is closely tied to identity. Hair represents new beginnings as it’s one of the first things we change. And as it grows out, our hair becomes a declaration of a physical and psychological transition to womanhood.

As a 30-something transwoman, dealing with a naturally male-shaped receding hairline made quite an impact on my confidence. Generally masculine hairlines tend to have an “M” shape or square shape, while a feminine one would tend to be rounded. Every day I would obsess about it, figuring out how I can make it work and style some sense to it. I couldn’t wear my hair up in a high ponytail or do a slicked back style without feeling awkward. For the longest time, I’ve relied on bangs a la Alexa Chung and Jeanne Damas to keep my self-consciousness at bay. The goal was really to feminize and soften my features by rounding out the hard edges of my hairline. Because of this, I have long thought of doing a corrective surgery for my masculine hairline. Commonly, many transwomen consider either forehead feminization or scalp advancement surgery (SAS), which involves making an incision through which the bones of the forehead can be accessed. The excess bone and/or skin is then removed, lowering the gap between the hairline and forehead.1 This laborious procedure is extremely invasive and has a 4-6 week downtime. If you’re unlucky, this process may even create secondary problems like heavy or keloid scarring.

I put my plans on hold, until I discovered an alternative method called direct hair transplant (DHI). As it is, hairline reshaping via transplant is not a very popular choice in the trans community. Moreover, having no trans-visibility in most mainstream hair transplant institutions added to my reluctance with this procedure—not to mention how pricey the procedure can be. The treatment cost starts from P150,000, depending on your needs and the expectations. I had to do a good amount of research to make sure it outweighed the cons of SAS.

While doing my research, I came across Clinique de Paris by DHI Philippines. Globally, DHI has almost 50 years of experience in hair transplant and restoration. Backed up by favorable reviews, DHI seemed to be a very suitable option for my problem, so it was only a matter of time until I scheduled for a consultation.

Aside from being very professional and accommodating, I couldn’t help but notice how inclusive and accepting they made me feel during the initial process. They were respectful and always mindful of their questions. They welcomed my inquiries without me feeling judged or treated indifferently. Most importantly, they genuinely listened to my trans-specific anxieties, answering them without coming off as hard-sell or imposing. By the end of the session, I was already certain to give DHI a go. Going for a consultation with DHI first for a full diagnosis and estimate of the cost was a great way to start.

As the date of my procedure was fast approaching, the DHI team showed attention and care. Both Dr. Rafael Fortus, the Medical Director, and Nicole Sheker, country manager, checked up on me regularly to make sure I was mentally prepared and completely at ease. It goes without saying that when the day of my procedure came, I was comfortable and very much ready to conquer my hair.

Part of the brief was to expect a long day ahead. For DHI, there are four (4) main phases in the procedure, which will take a total of 7-8 hours. It starts with the Extraction Phase. Follicular units are extracted from your donor area (FYI, they shave your back!) using specialized disposable tools. DHI uses a patented extraction tool, leaving minimal trauma on the scalp. In my case, they needed to get at least 2500 hair follicles to achieve my expected results. Not to panic though as they do it in such a way that it would be unnoticeable even if you tie or let your hair down. In case you’re wondering about the pain, you’ll also be under local anesthesia—discomfort is at a minimum to none, and you may request to be sedated if it really bothers you. As for me, I was half awake, even going for bathroom breaks in between. The only discomfort I felt was the soreness from lying on my chest for an extended time.

Once the extraction is finished, the next phase is Follicle Sorting and Preservation. Each follicular unit is sorted and preserved for later implantation—think carefully arranged beads and sequins for a couture dress. DHI also uses a medical grade solution to preserve extracted follicular units. They keep them under natural conditions to ensure a higher survival rate for implanted hair. The cool part in this step is you get to see all your follicles laid out according to type (triple and double strands for density and singles for softness). And during this moment, they will serve you complimentary lunch.

After lunch, the next step would be the Hairline Shape Confirmation. Dr. Raf meticulously maps out your ideal hairline contour. This is the part where you should have all your hair pegs ready. In my case, I was torn between Kim Kardashian (apparently, a staple favorite) and Poy Treechada. Since this is a major turning point in the procedure, the DHI team makes sure that you take your time before deciding. Aside from drawing on your forehead, they also take photos of you having different hairline variations. This way, you’ll really get to have a close visual peg of your final look before you lock it in. In the end, I went for Poy’s hairline (trans represent!). I think it looked more natural, especially the way the side part draped down my face.

Once your hairline shape is decided, then comes the last step, which is the Implantation Phase. Follicular units are implanted back into the scalp using minimally invasive tools, or what they unofficially call an “implanter pen”. Unlike more traditional hair transplant procedures, like FUT and FUE, DHI does not create incisions before placement, which may otherwise cause irregularities in the hair direction. Instead, they get to implant hair at a more precise angle and depth with DHI’s “pen method”. The whole process reminded me of a thorough gown embroidery. As for pain, it’s really close to none since you’ll still be anesthetized. As a matter of fact, I was awake the whole time, and literally just binge-watching on Netflix.

At the end of it all, it’s just like a normal visit to your dermatologist for a facial. Once you’re up and about, they thoroughly explain the post-op procedures, including an expected 3-day downtime (super short!) with the best results showing within 4-9 months. They also provide a take-home kit for everything you’ll be needing in the next few days. And when everything’s wrapped up, they arrange a complimentary ride home for you, too.

Right after the procedure I was a little worried that my hairline was still high and that my forehead looked bigger. However, as explained, that was caused by the swelling, which is expected to go down 2-3 days after.

Nevertheless, I was immediately happy with how the rounded shape turned out. The square corners in my forehead were already filled in and noticeably looked more ladylike.

During the first week, I was advised that shedding in the implanted area is normal as the follicles take root. The treatment also doesn’t require any long-term medication, as implanted hair will not fall. However, Minoxidil applications are suggested to prevent the further falling or thinning of existing hair. Cardio exercises and swimming are also discouraged within 2 weeks after the session, while intense exercises like weight lifting can be resumed after 4 weeks.

In most cases, patients can return to work within 5-7 days after the session. But I was already back to work by the 4th day. I really can’t stress enough how amazed I am by the short downtime.

After the procedure, I can’t help but be proud of myself. Despite the unpopularity of direct hair transplant among transwomen and the hefty investment needed for it, my initial doubts have been effaced by how satisfied and happy I was after this experience. Only over a month has passed, but the treatment has already made a tremendous impact on my mental health and well-being. It’s so liberating not to constantly worry and suffer from your hair insecurities (like alopecia or hair thinning), regardless of your sexual orientation or gender identity.

However, for transwomen like me, it’s more than just looking pretty and feminine. This is a step forward to becoming the person I always envisioned myself to be—to look in the mirror with pride and content. And as I reclaim my identity through my hair, Lady Gaga’s song now makes more sense.

Now more than ever, I am my hair.

Lui currently works as a PR and Influencer Lead for Unilever Beauty & Wellbeing Southeast Asia. As a transgender woman in the corporate field, she aspires to break molds and shift traditional beauty standards into becoming more inclusive and diverse through the brands she works with. Her advocacy: You should be your own standard of beauty!